you don’t understand at all do you not truly you think I’m a liar that I still hold the knife that stabbed you in the back [and in the heart]
kinda speechless that you feel that way think that way believe it untrustworthy? misleading? false emotions? can you not read? here let me try again maybe I can make it like braille feel the words
it’s like when the clouds stormy eyes welled up and let fall the tears of weekend rain soggy, we laughed along with the thunder and under our waterfall we let the windows fog tell me I lied then
or picture if you will standing by the tree I always parked by it was a starry night, but we didn’t see it we were too focused on our faces except why is it I was the only one drowning in the sadness that overtook my eyes shaking with each strained, choppy breath clutching that gray shirt like a life jacket do you think that was all for show?
haven’t you looked at my collection of black and white silly letters scribbled down as fast as possible trying as hard as I can to leave it all on the paper but it’s as if each word I write is a tattoo slowly invading every part of my skin it’s sinking in, it’s staining everything do you think this agony I speak of is fake?
if so if I am that liar with the knife who led you astray and “screwed you over” let you down, kicked you around if you can’t seem to open your eyes and notice just how much I love you just how much I always have
then you don’t deserve it
ill run miles for you when I know I only have the strength for one but don’t you dare watch me run if you don’t even grasp that I stabbed myself in the back led myself astray
you have a right to hate the wound but if you can’t see what I feel one day I will learn that I have to let go and I will
then all these silly letters all for you
well. go ahead and throw them away on that day they will carry no life anymore
“You build your world around someone, and then what happens when he disappears? Where do you go- into pieces, into atoms, into the arms of another man? You go shopping, you cook dinner, you work odd hours, you make love to someone else on June nights. But you’re not really there, you’re someplace else where there is blue sky and a road you don’t recognize. If you squint your eyes, you think you see him, in the shadows, beyond the trees. You always imagine that you see him, but he’s never there. It’s only his spirit, that’s what’s there beneath the bed when you kiss your husband, there when you send your daughter off to school. It’s in your coffee cup, your bathwater, your tears. Unfinished business always comes back to haunt you, and a man who swears he’ll love you forever isn’t finished with you until he’s done.”—Alice Hoffman (via atomos)
The most beautiful sea: hasn’t been crossed yet. The most beautiful child: hasn’t grown up yet. Our most beautiful days: we haven’t seen yet. And the most beautiful words I wanted to tell you I haven’t said yet…
You can only pick one choice...1)Do you believe that you hegemony your own destiny with your choices or 2) is your success or failure in life, Micaic Destiny: that we all make only one unchangeable choice every moment. Simply because a certain choice will inevitably be made does not mean that we do not make our own decisions. This belief assumes that we have no power to accurately and precisely predict the future, or 3) is our destiny just a matter of circumstances and luck?
i’d like to say a combination of all.. but i guess that goes against the rules. for the first one, i believe that, obviously the choices i make affect my future. i try to make smart choices, choices that will benefit me later. but it occurred to me, that not all the choices i have made come completely from me. a lot are influenced from people around me, and some things that have happened i cannot control at all.
so, as for two. i like to think that just because i chose to go left rather than right i know exactly where i will be in twenty years. i know i don’t. i have no idea if i will even be alive in twenty years.. i guess i can leave it up to some higher being to predict what will happen.
three.. maybe it is just circumstances and luck. i was lucky enough to be born in a family, with a roof over my head, and food majority of the time. i was lucky enough to be born with good health, and moderate intelligence. and i admit that some of the things that have happened in my life, such as my mother passing away, i had no control over, and have inevitably led me to where i am today.
overall though, i think that there are some things you choose and some things you don’t. i try not to analyze it too much, just try to take it day by day and hope that if i make it to be an old lady, that i will have a fun and happy life to look back on, and to look ahead to.